Hey guys...
Ha, after not blogging in ages, I suddenly feel obligated to because I've found quite a few of my friend's blogs and asked them to link me.. so if there's nothing to read... yeah. :) Okay! Let's get started!!!
Life in general, I suppose. It's been okay, I've been completing my assignments like, right before they're due, not doing too good in tests either. I've like, lost my motivation COMPLETELY to do anything useful. And suddenly I'm OBSESSED with my image. I can't help it! I feel like a total idiot for worrying about something like that, since I'm not even important enough, but I just DO. I mean, one example is my jumper. It's part of our winter uniform (green jumper, quite nice looking). Basically we wear it over the white shirt that's the base of the uniform. Since I h8 long skirts, and mine was just above the knee, I pull the jumper down until it covers maybe.. just under mid-thigh, so the skirt isn't THAT long looking. I don't know why I do it. It just looks better, and I feel better about myself. I'm turning into a bimbo, aren't I??? I'M REALLY WORRIED. And my school bag. I don't carry one, since they're ugly blue lumps. Instead I take some cute sling to school. Everyone loves it, I know, and it feels good to have that around, but afterwards I ALWAYS get thoughts like these.. ALWAYS. And my hair. It's too black, I reckon. I want more brown, auburn, honey, golden in it. I DON'T KNOW WHY, I JUST DO. And like some other people, I now wear lip gloss to school. It's to prevent chapped lips n' stuff, but mine is GLOSSY, like.. shiny. Again, people like it.. but why do I feel so fake? ARGH. I feel like a FRAUD.
Yeah, I feel fake. Very fake. And I've began to put on personas (alter egos) when I'm around certain people. It's scaring me. I mean, I can now mantain a DECENT conversation with Pinky and gossip about someone, then turn back into the nice Eugenia that helps people with Maths homework. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I just have this compulsive need to FIT IN. I'll indulge in a bit of emo-ness now and then, a bit of craziness, all to divert from my real self. I'm very confused. WHAT IF I HAVE SOME KIND OF IDENTITY CRISIS? Scarrreee... I'm also quite vain now... *shudder*. Don't know why either. Fuck. I'm also getting attached to friends, and I get easily panicked when I piss them off and they ignore me for a while. My life is screwy once more. I NEED HELP. ADVICE. SOMEONE. Help me?
Ai...
OK. I'm going to write in my pocketbook now. It's where I write one-liners about what's in my mind.. random stuff too XD Okay. See you guys all soon! Tomorrow, hopefully :)))
Toodle-pip!
Oh, and I like chocolate. (: