Friends forever. Amis pour toujours. If only life were that simple. How many people have put their trust in me.. only to have me spout their deepest secrets to some malovent 3rd party? How many times have I exaggerated the plight of others, or put them down? When have I actually ever been a friend?
Once, maybe once. Or twice. One time it was because I could never bring myself to hurt this person. She meant the world, literally, to me. Exposing her weaknesses was just out of the question. The second time was out of pity. This other friend needed me badly. We were united against a common enemy, shared the same anger and frustration. I listened to her grievings and acted accordingly. Those two people... barely acknowledge my existence anymore.
Jenny, my dear Jenny, is in a different city... country, almost. The other, my first Aussie friend and confidante, is learning to break away from me, learning to spread her wings. We rarely sit together at lunch, rarely have a proper conversation. I feel like I'm losing them... slowly but irrevocably. We're distant now... not as tightly-knit as before. I thought friendship was supposed to grow with time. Apparently not.
Pourquoi doit-il être si dur pour moi? Pourquoi est-ce que je ne peux pas juste avoir une vraie amitié pour une fois? Pourquoi est-ce que je dois être le spot sur le radar? Pourquoi je, de toutes les personnes? Pourquoi?
TELL ME.
Oh, and I like chocolate. (: