It's been like, almost a week since I last posted... *sigh* I hope it's not a sign of redundancy [if there's such a preposterous word], because I'm sick and tired of starting a new blog every 6 months or so. Before I lapse into the boring details of my obsession with this site, I better tell you that I have some good news. Yup, that's right. GOOD NEWS. That's a first for me since I touched down at Changi Airport on the 30th of March 2007. I feel.... proud! ( Does an insane happy/tribal dance on the bed ) I mean, good news is an inclination that people feel HAPPY, right? And if I'm feeling happy, it means that I'm getting over it! I'm moving on! Whoo-hoo! Go me, it's your birthday, we gonna party like it's your birthday, gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday... yeah, you get the picture. I'm just inexplicably HAPPY! Okay, on with the good news:
It's coming a bit late, and I'm not sure if this is gonna be considered good news by anyone other than my darlin' Maddi :) Anyhow... yeah. SO MADDI, YOU BETTER READ THIS SCREWY POST, BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS GONNA MAKE HEAD OR TAIL OF IT, OKAY? OKAY! So, basically, since I've stopped brooding about losing Jenny and all, I've had time to really think everything through. I remember the MSN convo we had the other day, ya know, the one where you faked being a lezzo for April Fool's, the one where you told me you were pissed at me for spraining my ankle on camp, the one where you said you were too quick to judge.. blah blah blah. You 'member, right? Basically, I've been turning things around in my head, reminiscing, laughing at my antics, and I think that I'm going to have a fresh start when I come back in about a week's time. That's right, a fresh start. Which means NO arguing with Pinky no matter how stupid she may seem, NO bickering with Clapin about inane things like Mathematics, and NO being an unsociable person. I mean, I didn't try much in the friendship department last year, and I wasn't as open as I could have been to many people. To those people, I'm sorry. To those that I constantly annoyed for the whole of the 1st semester, and those that finally agreed to be friends [Maddi included], I'm sorry for pissing you guys off. Really. Going to Melbourne and comparing it to Perth really opened some realms for thought. I really appreciate everything that happened in 2006, and more, and I guess that the good news is... I've made up my mind to be TOLERANT! YAY! lol :P
So much for good news! Well, being tolerant IS a place to start... and I just hope that I'll be less violent in future with regards to vengeance :D Okay. Now the good stuff is outta the way, it's time to move on to the BAD news. Drumroll please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bad news is... something other than Jenny is making me all depressed inside. It's another friend issue, and I'm afraid that I've lost this one for good. And that it's a two-way thing; she was angry, I was angry. Mutual angry-ness. A bad combination in any situation. I think I'll withhold names for privacy's sake, though those that were with me on Friday, Sports Day, will probably know who and what I'm referring to. I apologise in advance for any feelings that might be hurt. I'm sorry, but I just need to put this in words... it's killing me.
First of all, I had made plans the night before to go out with a group of friends. Thinking that since we'd all have been in the same class for at least 2 years, we could tolerate each other, and I took a slight risk in inviting someone that wasn't exactly fond of the so-called 'group' that I had invited [and vice versa]. So Sports Day came and went, and it was SUPER enjoyable, if I might add. DEBBIE WON A LARGE SHINY TROPHY!!!! YAY!!! Ok, getting sidetracked here... Basically, I invited someone that might not exactly get along with the majority of the people on the little shopping expedition. While I was hanging around the bleachers after the meet had ended with her in tow ['her' being the one that isn't quite well-liked by the other people I invited yada, yada, yada] the other girls came up and told me that they wouldn't go if She [which is in this case, the 'her' referred to earlier] was going. I was shocked. Pissed, shocked, puzzled, and frustrated all at the drop of a hat. Nothing against those girls, but there's nothing WRONG with her. Just because she's a bit kooky, and has some disdain for girly-girls, doesn't mean that you can't be friends, right? Wrong, they said. They apparently couldn't spend even an hour eating lunch with her. Here is where I messed up, I think. Seeing as the majority of the group wouldn't turn up if she went, I chose the logical solution- please the majority. So I did it. She mighta shed some tears, I almost did in my pity, and she was out of the little outing. As a minor consolation, I offered her a ride home. It took us a while to get chatting again, but my heart soared when she seemed like she had grudgingly forgiven me, and she even asked me to go out with her on Sunday. I leapt at the chance to redeem myself and decided that no matter what, I'd turn up at the church on Sunday. Well, Saturday came, and late that night, she SMSed me. She was calling it off. Partly because I don't have any idea where West Coast is, and getting to the sermon on time would be a miracle. And I'm not a very miracle-attuned individual, if that makes any sense. A bit surprised, I asked her if she wanted to go anywhere else. Escape Theme Park popped up on the list, and so did a number of other places. After getting that text, I rushed off to shower, and as Fate would have it, forgot that my phone existed until Sunday morning. I woke up, feeling horrible. I'd let her down. Left her hanging, probably ruined her plans for Sunday, and lost her forever. I doubt I'll be forgiven as easily as the last time. Then again, my mind might just be a bit over-imaginative, conjuring up these negative thoughts and feelings. I mean, she didn't SOUND that pissed in her last text. But I won't know. I'm trying to work up the nerve to call and apologise, just in case she took my forgetfulness as an insult, and swore to never ever talk to me again. But some stupid part of me keeps saying that I'm overreacting, and that I should just let her simmer for a bit until she calms down, and everything will go back to normal. But another naggy facet of me is screaming "CALL HER, YOU RETARDED BITCH! YOU HAVE TO!!! GET YOUR SORRY ASS ONTO THE TASK NOW!" I'm tempted to go with the more polite, less-profane voice's advice.. but it won't help anything in the long run if she's really had it with me now. So I guess I'll call her. Not now, no... but tomorrow. ASAP. Yeah, I'll do it. I better do it.
Okay. No words of wisdom to wrap up this post. Just a simple.............................
Toodle-pip!
Oh, and I like chocolate. (: