I guess I just have to face it. I can't live without her. It's an impossible, cruel task set by Fate. I just can't. You try it, my friends. Try tossing and turning at night, plagued by memories of disco lights, dancing, laughter, and whispers. I dare you. Try not being able to sleep, every second thought turning back to HER, playing depressing songs over and over again until dawn comes, try it. No? I knew it. You're scared, maybe. Maybe you guys think I'm delusional. Maybe I'm just being a fool. Yes, maybe I'm a fool. Because she deserves so much better than me. So. Much. Better.
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I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
The guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered what it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this...
You deserve much better than me
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I bet you think I'm crazy. Unfortunately, I'm not. I just miss her so bad. I've gotten closer to her than I ever have with anyone, I mean, we just CLICKED. Just like that. We shared so many laughs, some tears, but always happiness. Now I realise that I'll never experience the same kind of joy. I'll still be happy, of course, but not in the same way. The little stanza in italics is the 1st part of 'Much Better Than Me', by Hinder [the song currently playing on the blog now]. It kinda fits my situation, don't ya think? No, maybe I shouldn't ask for your opinion. Because no words can cover this feeling I have inside. I doubt she's feeling the same way now. Like I said before, I've been a fool. A blind, bumbling fool. Until common sense reared it's unwelcome head and whacked my in the face a few hours ago. She's gone. There's nothing I can do about it. I have to move on.
Have. To. Move. On.
I'm repeating it out loud, hoping the words will just suddenly take effect.
But I don't think it's working...
Toodle-pip, my associates. Toodle-pip indeed...
Oh, and I like chocolate. (: